Mother Teresa & The Dark Night of the Soul

Mother Teresa is arguably one of the most well known people of faith of the 20th Century.

At the age of eighteen she left her home to join the Sisters of Loreto.

Always attracted to the missionary life, she eventually received permission to leave her order of cloistered nuns to minister to "the poorest of the poor," in the slums of Calcutta.

She began alone, but by 1950, with her work officially under the Order of the Missionaries of Charity, she had a dozen sisters helping. By 1997, Mother Teresa's Order had over 4,000 sisters working all over the world.

While most of this is almost common knowledge, what is not so commonly known is that for the entire length of Mother Teresa's work, spanning six decades, she struggled with loneliness and the feeling that God had abandoned her.

She regularly wrote to Fr. Celeste van Exem, her spiritual director, mentioning this struggle. The letters were deeply personal. In fact, she asked that they be destroyed after her death because she was concerned that they "would make people think more of me and less of Jesus." But, fortunately for us, they were collected by Fr. Brian Kolodiejchuk, (the director of the Mother Teresa Center) and published as Come Be My Light.

Mother Teresa's loneliness may have begun at an early age. When she was eight, her father passed away. After leaving home to become a nun eight years later, she never saw her Mother again. (At one point, Mother Teresa tried to arrange to have her own mother visit her in India, but the Albanian government refused the request.)

In 1979 Mother Teresa received the Noble Peace Prize. During her acceptance speech she said:
"Holiness is not a luxury of the few. It is a simple duty for each of us." She went on to say that "the poor don't need our pity and sympathy. They need our understanding love."

A 2015 movie, The Letters does a wonderful job of chronicling Mother Teresa's work, with a special focus on the letters she wrote.

Far from putting Mother Teresa in a negative light, these letters are actually an inspiration and assurance that even among spiritual giants, a walk of faith isn't a walk done by feelings.

In reviewing The Letters for the National Catholic Register, Tim Drake wrote:

"Her letters have been largely misunderstood by the secular media, thinking that they somehow suggest her lack of belief. In fact, the letters echo Christ's words to Thomas: 'Blessed are they who believe without seeing,' or in Mother Teresa's case, we might say: Blessed are those who believe without feeling. It is for this reason that the film is an important one."

Feelings of being far from God when simultaneously serving on the front lines are fairly common.

Even Jesus had his agony in the garden prior to the crucifixion.

Others who have done incredible work, like Mother Teresa and Dorothy Day have freely written of their longing to feel close to God.

If you'd like a Biblical basis for these feelings, Psalms is full of laments. Many of the major prophets also went through extreme trials which resulted in feeling very far from God's presence. (When you consider that they were trying to get the attention of an entire nation during times of extreme spiritual darkness it only makes sense.)

So we shouldn't be thrown for a loop when we encounter the "dark night of the soul."

In fact, quite often, going through such periods of darkness is a sign of an authentic relationship with God.

We wonder where God is because we long for God.

We cry out from a place of deep love and longing for intimacy.

And God often uses these difficult times, as with Mother Teresa, to help us identify with the very people that God is calling us to serve.

Photo Credit: www.biography..com

Six Reasons For Quitting Church

There's a trend among church-goers in 21st Century America.

They aren't going.

At least not as often as in previous decades.

One of the most widely quoted pieces of church attendance research is from Pew Research Center.

Their 2015 report noted that 71% of the US population identified themselves as Christian (down from 78% in 2007). At the same time, those who had no religious affiliation increased to 23% (up from 16% in 2007).

Perhaps more telling, only 18% of the population in the US were identified as "frequent" church goers (attending at least two times a month). That's according to Dr. Richard Krejcir of the Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership. (Kelly Shattuck reported a similar percentage in an article posted on churchleaders.com.)

Either way, among those professing to be Christian or those who report attending a church regularly, the numbers are down.

I'd like to offer a few reasons why this may be happening; mostly observations coming from my own experience.

People get offended and hurt each other.

When we get offended, we tend to limit or eventually end a relationship. That includes our relationship with a church. I've been attending the same church for 30 years. If all of the people who left my home church during that period of time were to somehow come back, it would result in at least a doubling of our current congregation size. (We have about 200 members).

I'm not saying that offense isn't justified, or that offense should be ignored. Getting hurt by others is a fact of life. But there really isn't a chance for healing or reconciliation without facing it. (To be clear, I'm not taking about domestic violence or any other type of dysfunction.)

It's far easier to leave a relationship than actively seek to fix it. 

This point goes along with being offended. But it includes other reasons for leaving. Unfortunately, this aspect of human behavior isn't limited to church-going. Anytime any kind of relationship goes sour it's easy to see it as an opportunity to opt out.

Sort of the opposite of the old adage: If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

The 21st Century mantra on relationships seems to be: If it's broken, move on.

It's difficult to adhere to a higher standard of living.

No matter what the denomination, most belief systems offer a code of conduct. We learn how to treat others by being encouraged to follow that code.

Sometimes it isn't easy to "treat others as you would like to be treated."

We're human and we fail.

That's no surprise.

So if our conscience is sensitized by church attendance, we can choose to listen to it, or not.

It's never been easy to go against popular culture.

The US is no longer a church-driven society.

To continue to go to church, or profess belief in God, is not a popular thing to do.

It won't earn you any special esteem in the eyes of peers or neighbors. In fact there's a good chance that regular church-goers who profess a belief in God may been seen as weak, under-educated adherents of an outdated tradition.

The church is full of hypocrites.

It's true.

In as much as church membership is usually a reflection of the community at large.

So we shouldn't be surprised when we come into contact with church members who are rude, close-minded or insensitive.

Jesus said he came to heal the sick. It shouldn't shock us when we come across people in church who may need emotional healing.

The church is full of people who don't think the way we do.

Church seems to be the only group affiliation where we expect everyone else to think about things the way we do.

But logically, how could we really expect an entire congregation of believers to think exactly alike?

I would be very surprised if anyone who read this blog post agreed on every item I've listed regarding church membership.

Similarly so if I went to church on a typical Sunday expecting that everyone there would think about life the way that I do, I would be gravely disappointed.

But what if  the real question isn't about why people aren't coming to church?

Maybe the more appropriate question is: Why do people keep coming?

For me, it's about seeking fellowship, seeking relationship, however awkwardly this is worked out.
(I'm quite an introvert, so it isn't natural for me to seek out group activities.)

It's about admitting mistakes and seeking reconciliation within the context of community.

It's about being continually challenged to be my best, truest self.
(I'm lazy and need the encouragement of others to be authentic.)

To grow and to learn.

Most of all, it's about seeing God in the face of others.

How about you...

Why do you/don't  you go to church?

And if you go: What keeps you going?

Photo Credit: www.tntclassrooom.org

The difference between being nice and being kind

According to Merriam Webster's dictionary, "nice" comes from a Middle English word meaning foolish. The primary definition of "nice," at one time, was wanton or dissolute (both words pointing to a lack of moral restraint).

Over the years, the use of the word "nice" has evolved to its current definition: "giving pleasure or joy; good and enjoyable, attractive or of good quality; kind, polite, and friendly."

"Kind" also has an interesting linguistic history. Originally from a Middle English word meaning nature, or species or grouping.

While "kind" retains that meaning today as a noun, Merriam Webster says that the word's adjective meaning is "having or showing a gentle nature and a desire to help others - wanting and liking to do good things and to bring happiness to others."

The principle difference between "nice" and "kind" seems to be focused on relationship, or lack of it.

Most of my actions towards others have been of the "nice" variety. Skimming the surface. Being superficially polite. Not wanting to offend.

Unfortunately, the best example of this I can give is a typical Sunday morning before or after the church service. During these times I am smiling, shaking hands, giving hugs, handing out 'hellos' but not much else.

The actions motivated by being "nice" are mostly done to project a positive image, while keeping others at a distance. "Nice" is lukewarm. It's non-committal for the most part. There really isn't much effort or engagement made.

On the other hand, acts that are "kind" come from a commitment. They are usually other-centered and focus on deepening relationship.

In the film Old Fashioned there's a great line spoken by Amber, the main female character. "I think the world has enough greatness and not enough kindness."

This statement seems to sum up our current state of divisiveness in American society, doesn't it?

Or perhaps, it could be rephrased, the world has enough niceness and not enough kindness?

I'm not saying that we should all quit being nice. Lord knows we need to get out of ourselves and think of others more. And there isn't anything wrong with being polite.

But being "nice" isn't enough.

Being kind involves risk. It often involves going outside of our comfort zone. And it may not be our "go to" action of choice.

But, with practice, we can learn. We can dig a little deeper emotionally and choose to give more of ourselves.

What would those after-church conversations look like if I were a little more kind? And not so nice? Perhaps they might open the door to sharing? Maybe even friendship?

P.S. If you need a musical nudge in this direction, try listening to Tim McGraw's "Humble and Kind."

Photo Credit: www.daringtolivefully.com

The challenge of finding true freedom

God's goal is to have you be the person that God created you to be.

While that will happen when you reach heaven, God's desire is that you’d begin to experience that now.

You don’t have to wait until you pass from this earth to be authentic. 

There is nothing holding God back from accomplishing this. It’s up to you.

How much of your true self do you want to explore and see come to life? How much of your true self will you let out? How deep will you trust God? How deep will you let God's love go? How strongly do you want to replace fear as a motivation for living?

God isn't looking for a second-rate version of yourself! God's not satisfied with you going through life being half-filled and God won’t give up on you.

God wants you to understand this. 

The Creator of the Universe didn’t save you from something, You were saved into something.

Many followers of God's Son don’t understand the depth of this truth.

God didn’t save you so you wouldn't limp. You were saved so that you could run.

Freedom.

In American culture that’s at the heart of everything, isn’t it?

Freedom of choice. Freedom of religion. Freedom of speech. Freedom.

But a person who isn’t their truest self isn’t free.

There is no freedom in fulfilling other people’s expectations. 

There is no freedom in kowtowing to the status quo. 

There is no freedom in being caught up in the politics of the day. 

There is no freedom in blindly following after material success.

The US national anthem contains the refrain: “...land of the free and the home of the brave.”

But how free are you when you allow what others think to dictate your actions? 

How brave are you when you stand silent in response to racism, sexual inequality and other forms of social injustice?

Where is freedom found?

Many people think freedom is found in following their feelings. Or financial security. Or material possessions. Or power. But none of these things bring freedom. 

In fact every one of these things can be a ball-and-chain wrapped tight around your spirit. Squelching the life out of you.

Freedom is found in service to others. 

Freedom is found in loving unconditionally. 

Freedom is found in loving your neighbor as yourself. 

Freedom is found in opening the borders of your heart to let others in.

This day I challenge us all to embrace true freedom.

To find out what it is and to go after it!

Take a moment to answer this question: True freedom, for me, is...

Photo credit: www.jewishlearningworks.org

What is God's version of prosperity?

Dominick Santore recently wrote a powerful piece titled The Prosperity of the Gospel.

He used  Jeremiah 29.11 as his cornerstone scripture reference.

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope..."

One of Santore's main points is that "God doesn't always promise happy endings in this physical world."

Which got me to thinking: When it comes to this life, what does God promise us?

God doesn't promise financial or material success.

In America today, dollars and cents seem to be the most common way of measuring success in life. Quite often conversations about success are nothing but a listing of current salary, what neighborhood we are living in and how much money we will make in the future.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with money or a good career, these aspects of life don't capture the total picture of how a person is doing.

Jeremiah quoted God during a time when the Jewish nation was being held captive in Babylon, and God was telling his people that they would have to endure 70 years as captives until they could come back home. God was encouraging them to continue to seek him wholeheartedly. That was God's version of success.

God doesn't use the same yardstick to measure success that we do.

In Jesus' day, many religious leaders looked at health, business savvy and other possessions as signs of God's favor. But Jesus told them that they were mistaken. In fact, from what the bible shows us, God's Son had a very modest carpentry business that He learned and inherited from His dad. (It was so modest that there isn't much mention of it at all.)

Jesus didn't use his trade skills to build a mega-house for His Mom or set up a huge carpentry business with His siblings.

When God's Son began His public ministry, quite often the things He said elicited the response of, "Isn't this the carpenter's son?" A direct reference to His material insignificance.

God promises us that if we follow Him, we'll be challenged.

If we follow God, we're going to come against the prevailing wisdom of of the day.

It was true when Jesus walked the earth and it's just as true today. The human race hasn't changed its essential nature over the centuries.

We don't live in a nation that's inclined to follow God. So following God is going to cost us something because following God has never been popular.

God does promise us fulfillment.

So if God isn't promising us a materially satisfying and financially successful life, then what is God's version of prosperity or success?

Peace that isn't dependent upon circumstances. Security that isn't based on stock portfolio performance. Love that is eternal and non-conditional.

Jeremiah went on to say (after 29.11) that God's promise is that we will find God when we seek God with all of our hearts. God will hear us when we pray. And God won't forsake us.

Sometimes it takes great faith to believe this. Sometimes it takes outrageous hope to hold on to this. (Philippians 4.6-7). And ultimately such faith and hope bring us to ever-deepening relationship. Which is God's ultimate promise.

Photo Credit: www.livepurposfullynow.com

The Practice of Being Thankful

Earlier this morning I had some lab work done as part of a follow-up.

The lab technician asked me if I had anything planned for the day. In response I told her, "no, I'm retired."

She asked me how retirement was going. I said, "Fine, if you don't mind living on half of the income you had while you were working."

Afterwards, I wondered why I answered the lab tech's questions so negatively.

Is this really how I feel?

Once I got home, I sensed God motivating me to think about this.

The fact is, I have plenty to be thankful for.

Like having affordable health insurance. And living about 10 minutes away from the hospital where the lab work was done.

Last winter I painted every room in my home. That's another thing to be thankful for: I have a nice home that's comfy, suits me and is in a diverse neighborhood. I live less than a ten minute walk away from one of the most beautiful public parks in the city.

While I'm not financially rich, I have enough.

I've written a book, 20 Short Ones, that's been published and people are actually reading it.

I go to a great church that's got solid members and the teaching regularly challenges me.

All that is more than enough for starters.

Ann Voskamp has written the definitive book on the subject of being thankful, called One Thousand Gifts.

I've written about her book a few times.

But it's interesting how easily taking things for granted can tarnish the ability to be thankful.

Since this is an election year, I've been writing a lot more politically focused pieces on my blog, and I'm sure that all the negativity surrounding the Presidential campaign has exacted its spiritual toll.

But that doesn't excuse the fact that I haven't been as thankful as I should be.

If we allow life's circumstances to dictate how we feel we'll never be happy enough, or joyful enough, or financially secure enough. We won't be satisfied or content. We'll be forever looking over the fence comparing ourselves to others.

And you know what? That's really not much of a life.

On the other hand, if we choose to look up from what's around us and be thankful it offers a totally different perspective.

Being thankful doesn't deny challenges, but it helps give us the energy to creatively tackle them.

If you need some biblical encouragement to give thanks, here's a a few scriptures:

Give thanks to the Lord, for the Lord is good! And the Lord's mercy endures forever. (1 Chronicles 16.34)

It is good to give thanks to the Lord (Psalm 92.1)

Offer to God thanksgiving, and pay your vows to the Most High (Psalm 50.14)

Actually, the bible is full of verses that speak about thanksgiving and ways to give thanks.

So I'd like to offer a suggestion: Make a conscious effort to give thanks today.

Get alone with God in your quiet/prayer time and speak out the thanks. Let God know what you're thankful for. Be specific.

To help keep in the habit of being thankful, why not do what Ann Voskamp suggests, and begin a journal of thanks, writing down what you're thankful for each day?

It may not seem like a big deal, but believe me, it works. I'm already beginning to feel a whole lot better by getting back in the habit of being thankful. So can you!

Photo Credit: www.theodysseyonline.com

The Good Samaritan & Social Justice

"We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for their actions."

- Ronald Reagan

While on the surface, the above statement may seem like a worthy goal, it's important to note that it was said by a president who claimed to be Christian and often appealed to them.

So let's take a moment to look at what Mr. Reagan said, in particular the second part of his statement about removing societal accountability, and see if it stands up to what Jesus said on the subject.

When Jesus was on earth, he didn't let society off the hook.

In fact, God's Son didn't spend a lot of time talking about the poor and downtrodden being held responsible for their plight. And he didn't seem to be interested in distinguishing between the 'deserving' and the 'undeserving' poor. Jesus called them all blessed (Luke 6.20, Matt. 6.3)

He talked about loving our enemies (Luke 7.35), and being compassionate (Luke 7.36). 

About the only group that Jesus singled out fairly consistently to criticize were the religious leaders of His day. He told them to quit placing burdens on others (Matt. 23.4), and offering false wisdom
(Matt. 23.16). Jesus went on to tell them: "You’re like tombs that have been whitewashed. On the outside they are beautiful, but inside they are full of bones and filth."(Matt. 23.27)

Ouch!

Far from pointing fingers at the downtrodden, God's Son encouraged his followers to go the extra mile (Luke 6.41), turn the other cheek when hit (Luke 6.39) and give those who want to sue us the shirt off our back (Luke 6.40).

That doesn't sound like someone who was interested in blaming those in need of help or advocating societal abandonment of responsibility.

Double ouch!

To sum up what God's Son had to say on the subject, He imagined the "final judgment" being a separation of those who helped other people out, from those who didn't. (Matt. 25: 31-46)

When those who had helped their neighbor asked Jesus: "Lord, when did we ever see you" in serving those who were thirsty, hungry, homeless or in prison? God's Son replied: "I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me" (Matt. 25.37) 

To be fair, maybe certain followers of Jesus mean to imply that if you have a relationship with God's Son, you'd be inclined to help your neighbor. But even then, it's interesting to note that one of Jesus' most famous parables (The Good Samaritan) involved a religious leader and a temple worker who both walked across the street to avoid helping someone who was beaten and lying right in from of them. (Luke 11.31)  

It wasn't until a Samaritan (who would have been the modern-day equivalent of a Hamas member) saw the poor fellow that any assistance was given.

Triple Ouch!

What point was God's Son making?

Quite possibly that we are all each other's neighbor. And as a society, God's Son was calling us to act like it.

What do you think? Please share your thoughts!

Photo credit: www.lds.org