Monday, May 16, 2016

Six Reasons For Quitting Church




There's a trend among church-goers in 21st Century America.

They aren't going.

At least not as often as in previous decades.

One of the most widely quoted pieces of church attendance research is from Pew Research Center.

Their 2015 report noted that 71% of the US population identified themselves as Christian (down from 78% in 2007). At the same time, those who had no religious affiliation increased to 23% (up from 16% in 2007).

Perhaps more telling, only 18% of the population in the US were identified as "frequent" church goers (attending at least two times a month). That's according to Dr. Richard Krejcir of the Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership. (Kelly Shattuck reported a similar percentage in an article posted on churchleaders.com.)

Either way, among those professing to be Christian or those who report attending a church regularly, the numbers are down.

I'd like to offer a few reasons why this may be happening; mostly observations coming from my own experience.

People get offended and hurt each other.

When we get offended, we tend to limit or eventually end a relationship. That includes our relationship with a church. I've been attending the same church for 30 years. If all of the people who left my home church during that period of time were to somehow come back, it would result in at least a doubling of our current congregation size. (We have about 200 members).

I'm not saying that offense isn't justified, or that offense should be ignored. Getting hurt by others is a fact of life. But there really isn't a chance for healing or reconciliation without facing it. (To be clear, I'm not taking about domestic violence or any other type of dysfunction.)

It's far easier to leave a relationship than actively seek to fix it. 

This point goes along with being offended. But it includes other reasons for leaving. Unfortunately, this aspect of human behavior isn't limited to church-going. Anytime any kind of relationship goes sour it's easy to see it as an opportunity to opt out.

Sort of the opposite of the old adage: If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

The 21st Century mantra on relationships seems to be: If it's broken, move on.

It's difficult to adhere to a higher standard of living.

No matter what the denomination, most belief systems offer a code of conduct. We learn how to treat others by being encouraged to follow that code.

Sometimes it isn't easy to "treat others as you would like to be treated."

We're human and we fail.

That's no surprise.

So if our conscience is sensitized by church attendance, we can choose to listen to it, or not.

It's never been easy to go against popular culture.

The US is no longer a church-driven society.

To continue to go to church, or profess belief in God, is not a popular thing to do.

It won't earn you any special esteem in the eyes of peers or neighbors. In fact there's a good chance that regular church-goers who profess a belief in God may been seen as weak, under-educated adherents of an outdated tradition.

The church is full of hypocrites.

It's true.

In as much as church membership is usually a reflection of the community at large.

So we shouldn't be surprised when we come into contact with church members who are rude, close-minded or insensitive.

Jesus said he came to heal the sick. It shouldn't shock us when we come across people in church who may need emotional healing.

The church is full of people who don't think the way we do.

Church seems to be the only group affiliation where we expect everyone else to think about things the way we do.

But logically, how could we really expect an entire congregation of believers to think exactly alike?

I would be very surprised if anyone who read this blog post agreed on every item I've listed regarding church membership.

Similarly so if I went to church on a typical Sunday expecting that everyone there would think about life the way that I do, I would be gravely disappointed.

But what if  the real question isn't about why people aren't coming to church?

Maybe the more appropriate question is: Why do people keep coming?

For me, it's about seeking fellowship, seeking relationship, however awkwardly this is worked out.
(I'm quite an introvert, so it isn't natural for me to seek out group activities.)

It's about admitting mistakes and seeking reconciliation within the context of community.

It's about being continually challenged to be my best, truest self.
(I'm lazy and need the encouragement of others to be authentic.)

To grow and to learn.

Most of all, it's about seeing God in the face of others.

How about you...

Why do you/don't  you go to church?

And if you go: What keeps you going?

Photo Credit: www.tntclassrooom.org























No comments:

Post a Comment

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

Pinocchio: Art Credit, Disney If ever there were a time for a national "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire" award, it's now. And certai...