Sally Stap: Brain Surgery Survivor

Sally Stap is an author living in Kalamazoo, Michigan. She's always dabbled in writing, but found that writing after brain surgery gave her an outlet to capture her experience. After her broken brain brought an Information Technology career to a halt and she struggled with head pain, facial paralysis, and single-sided deafness, she found that writing helped her express what she was feeling both physically and emotionally.

Her right brain, subservient to her left brain throughout her career, now regularly finds a voice through writing as she strives to interpret emotions and experiences through words. She's a member of the Kalamazoo Christian Writer's critique group, Wordweavers, and Faithwriters.com.

Smiling Again, chronicles the journey you took after being diagnosed with a brain tumor and the surgery that followed. What motivated you to write about this experience? I was shocked by how my life was turned upside down by this experience. I had done research but was totally in denial about what outcome I might encounter. I felt that all the scientific information available didn’t prepare me for the human experience that I had. 

In what ways did your experience change your understanding of God?

I like to say that my faith evolved from theoretical to applied. I have had a relatively blessed life and usually “got what I wanted.” This experience helped me to understand that God frequently has plans different than we do, but that ultimately His view is better than ours. I had a strong faith that has been tested. I’ve had to admit to being angry with God at times and worked through that. I can question, be frustrated, or accept what is and move on. I now seek joy in each day and accept that I don’t have all the answers.

In what ways has your faith been challenged?

Prior to my surgery, everyone I knew was praying for me. Specifically, the day before I left for Mayo I was at a church conference. About 15-20 people laid their hands of me and prayed. I even told them what to pray -- that the tumor be easy to remove ad not vascular or sticky. After surgery, I learned that the tumor was very vascular (lots of blood vessels in it) and it was sticky – particularly to my facial nerve. I had prayed for a perfect ending with a neat story to share. Instead I was given a fight for my life and I had to ask where God was in my experience.

You led a very busy life as a business consultant before being diagnosed. Do you miss that life?

Yes, I miss it. I have adjusted though and have worked much more with the right side of my brain by exploring art. My life is definitely more peaceful now. I need to be calm and deliberate to minimize my chronic head pain.

How have your priorities changed since the surgery?

My career ended, so I had to figure out my self-worth. I now appreciate relationships and the generosity of people. I appreciate each day and don’t push to always be productive.

What advice would you give to anyone reading who may be facing surgery for removal of a tumor?

Connect with the community on social media (and local support groups if possible). There are many different outcomes, so you want to be knowledgeable but not freaked out. You will get through it and your journey will be unique. Possibly easy, possibly challenging, but it will be your unique journey.

What advice would you offer, in general, for living life?

Seek joy in each day. Don’t always have huge expectations because you might miss the fragile flower growing between the cracks in the sidewalk. Love the people in your life.

What’s most important to you in life now? And why?

My family is most important to me. They were there for me and I recognize moments spent with them that might not have been. Every day following brain surgery is a gift.

Can you give us an update as to how you’re doing physically, emotionally, spiritually?

Physically I’m still struggling with head pain. I am deaf in the right ear. My face is still challenged with partial paralysis. Emotionally? Life is emotionally challenging when you are living with chronic pain and disability. I must let my body be the judge of what gets done in a day. I’ve lost that battle --- mind over matter – so I now listen. I build in much more rest time and allow myself quiet time without guilt. Spiritually? I have a strengthened faith in God and am doing better at handing issues over to Him instead of clinging to them as I whine.

What was your writing routine for Smiling Again? Do you have a particular writing routine now?

I’m more of a sprinter than a marathon runner. I am not disciplined daily – I confess! For Smiling Again, I wrote for a while but was too much in the experience to complete it. I had to get out a couple years from the trauma before I could look back and write reflectively (and objectively) about it. Mostly, I write when words about a topic pop into my head. I take notes immediately and at some point, sit down to sort them out.

Is there anything else you’d like to mention?
I’ve had to accept that I’m not in control. I don’t have all the answers. My goal is to live a peaceful life seeking joy in each day. Of course, (grin) I have to mention the value of reading Smiling Again for anyone, whether facing a crisis or not. It is my best attempt to be transparent and share my human experience. I welcome dialogue with readers on my blog www.smilingagain.com or https://www.facebook.com/Sallystapauthor

You can check out Sally’s book, Smiling Again, here.